Dear Annie: After nearly 3 years of dating, I don’t feel like he loves me like I love him

Dear Annie: After nearly 3 years of dating, I don’t feel like he loves me like I love him

'Dear Annie' columnist Annie Lane

Annie Lane writes the Dear Annie advice column.

By Annie Lane |

Dear Annie: I am dating this guy who’s married but separated. We’ve been doing this almost three years. I am just not feeling the love from him. Will he ever love me like I need to be loved? — Waiting on Him

Dear Waiting: If you’ve been waiting three years, you’ll be waiting 300. I wouldn’t count on this man divorcing his wife anytime soon.

Ending things with him will be hard, but it will be worth it. Take some time on your own to regroup afterward. Then get back out there to give yourself the chance to find someone with whom you can share a mutually loving, fulfilling relationship that you are both all-in on.

Dear Annie: Earlier this year, you published my letter inviting readers to submit their quarantine stories to a project that I founded, Keys to Coping. We are collecting and sharing stories from real people of all ages who show courage, resiliency, humor, and compassion in this difficult time. Here is a sample to share with your readers.

“What are my keys to coping? Recognizing that life has always been full of unknowns and embracing each day.” — Anonymous

“For my 90th birthday, friends had a drive-by party for me: Two sheriffs cars led the way with flashing lights, followed by 12 motorcycles and 20-plus cars with signs and banners. What a day!” — Annie Smith

“Today, I went out for the first time in three and a half months! I had to put on a mask, real clothes, shoes and makeup. Worst of all, I had to put on my bra!” — Anonymous

“There are many things that I miss during the COVID crisis. But I retired last year. For that, I’m truly grateful. I have the luck of no pressure to do more than what I feel safe doing. So, I cherish the new recipes and the time to tackle old projects that have been years in the waiting. I cherish the time to keep up with the yard work and the housework. And I’m grateful for the positive impact that COVID-19 has had on the environment. Slow is good.” — Anonymous

“I was already in mourning for my gentleman companion, who died in January, so the pandemic was easy for me to deal with in a sense. I am a walker and walk daily (often with my sister) for two to three hours, masked and chatting. We’re lucky to live in a rural-ish town close to the harbor and ocean. In my spare time, I clean out junk and read. Works for me!” — Vicky in South Dartmouth, MA

“My keys for coping during COVID-19 isolation: 1) Pray for all nations. 2) Stay hydrated and eat healthily. 3) Rest, relax, rejuvenate and read. 4) Communicate daily in some way: wave or smile at passersby, laugh with a friend on the phone, FaceTime or Skype with family. 5) Seek spiritual solace. 6) Sit, walk or play in the sunshine to get vitamin D. 7) Ask and you will receive help, answers, guidance, directions or forgiveness.” — Anonymous

“I coped with quarantine by chatting with my friends via iPhone, having online classes and dance classes on Zoom and Bullet journaling. Through quarantine, I have enjoyed everyday life.” — Eden, 14 years old

We are collecting back-to-school stories now. We plan to compile these into a book. All are invited to send a sentence or two, photos or anything else they’d like to share to PO Box 304, West Hyannisport MA, 02672 or [email protected]. View the stories and images — Lenore Lyons, Founder, The Key Idea

Dear Lenore: Thank you for sharing all these wonderful tidbits. You are doing an important service in documenting what it’s like to be alive in 2020.

View prior ‘Dear Annie’ columns

“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].


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